Bosses That Suck Ass, or Revenge is Sweet When Served Rectally

So, I hate my boss. Or should I say, my FORMER boss. She's a troll with a fivehead, an excommunicated-Mormon-coz-she-boffed-a-married-guy-so-she's-been-shunned-like-a-paisley-wearing-mennonite with an inferiority complex. One of those people whom you work your ass off for, turn their business around for them, and not only do they NOT give you credit, they take YOURS, bounce your checks, pay you crap, and go have a massage while you're firing away for 14 hours straight. However, divine intervention has occurred, and I was wooed away from sucky to fabulous today-for half the grief and almost three times the money. Sweetness.

I went into a meeeting today with Satan, she thinking she was going to school me regarding my attitude, and I cross checked her with a jimmy-jab to the pancreas. She said, "Lola, I want this to work out, but you're going to have to fix a few things first". I cut her off mid assumed bitch-out and said, "Ya know, nimrod(ok, I didn't say nimrod, but I thought it), this just isn't working for me. I don't enjoy working here anymore, and I just think we've hit the proverbial wall. So, hasta, and thanks for playing". After all color drained from her face, she, with HUGE tears welling up in her eyes, sputtered out, "Ya...you're QUITTING?" Although I was tempted to go all Brokeback on her, and I said, diplomatically, "I think it's for the best". Bitch then tried to play a fullhouse-she burst into tears-but I deflected with a royal flush. I said, "I wish you the best, and hope, truly, that this year allows you to get all that you deserve". Smile.

Then I turned and walked out, trying to not laugh in her stunned, Gary Busey-esque face. Worst part...she had to run out to my car to ask me for the key back, with a mascara-smudged-red-blotched-yacking-on-a-bone mug. Oh, did I mention that I left her high and dry without a chef and sous chef (he left with me) for three weddings this weekend? Payback's a bitch, bitch. You should have given me the raise AND the cabana boy.